Over another week has gone since a post.....again.  I'm finding myself with a few moments to spare and I was feeling the need for an update.  Why?  The thought of a stagnant blog bothers me.  I'm learning that's ridiculous.  My blog is stagnant for lots of reasons, most of which are very deserving but a few that could use  the corrective order of improved time management.

I'm aiming to be less task oriented and more people oriented.  The tasks keep things tidy, how I like them.  Unfrazzled edges and smooth functioning order in our home.  The empty dishwasher and toy-less floor left me feeling like something was missing though.  Intentionality with people.  Not just my own little people, but any people.  All people.

I would often pride myself on delivering my husband 2 kids when he came home from work that were fed, bathed, in pajamas and ready for pure daddy enjoyment without tasks attached.  I wanted them, in the limited time we had in the evenings, to simply enjoy each other.  Along with the sparkling and fed children I would have the house picked up and dinner ready to eat, often on the table.  He never asked for this, but he appreciated very much.  But it was hard.

The hour or two leading up to that were often, not always, difficult.  Getting it all done was hectic and I found myself losing my patience too often in the process.  The girls were often shuffled around, jumping from one check-list item to the next to deliver the 1950's environment when we heard the garage door open at 7 pm.

I took a few weeks to observe myself, the set-up and what could be changed.  Confronting myself with the legacy I was leaving behind was, and still is, difficult for me.  What will my children view as important according to my actions?  What is worthy of frustration or even anger?  Am I teaching them that love is an action?

It's a big work in progress over here and I still get most things done, but the pace is different.  If none of it gets done and my teammate tags in to help, that's okay too.  To some people that may sound ridiculous but it was something that was important to me.  My willingness to let more slide and be okay with a little disorder to settle once family time has passed and small eyelids are closed has helped a lot as well.  No doubt the days feel longer but there is a new fullness in the air.  I may go to bed with cluttered counters but I'm okay with that.