This may surprise you, but I'm still here.  Barely, apparently seeing how my last post was one month ago.  I used to feel the need to purge my thoughts onto this blank white screen every few days but, well, life happens.  Now at the end of most days all I feel the need to do is put up my feet and relax.  I've become lost in a few good books, some worthwhile (to me at least) projects,  a few photography jobs (laying low from that right now though), lots and lots of cooking (since joining a produce co-op), exercising, raising kids while sparing sanity, bible study and laundry.  Just like everyone else.

I've found myself wondering how anyone finds the time to blog but I realized I can find the time to do anything I really want to do.  It just has to be a priority to me.  Right now multiple things have come before this blog but I hope to one day do it frequently again.  I'm not sure I'll have any readers at that point, but I know there are a few loyal ones out there that will probably take a peek.

The girls are doing well and changing fast.  If parenting were described as hills and valleys, with Elyse we're in a valley.  She's quick to speak, slow to listen and fast to upset.  Very.  Big.  Issues.  I've found myself yelling on more than one occasion and it hurts my heart.  It immediately lets me know that I've failed her with too many chances and consequences that aren't meeting the offense.  We had such a great period with her where we were so proud.  Her growth and tender heart were so evident.  I'm wondering if with all of the great behavior we got a little lax which caused her to stretch her boundaries a little, alas here we are.  I'm not confident in what caused the change but I am confident we will get through it and be better for it.  One thing that has been revealed to me over time though, is her heart.  Her tender, tender heart.  She is the most sensitive 3 year old I've ever met.  Teaching her words and appropriate responses to all those unsettling feelings that overtake her each day is a challenge.  Witnessing her sensitivity and tenderness serve and empathize with others is an honor.  She doesn't like to be hurt and she doesn't like anyone else to hurt either, so when she tries to sting you with words it hurts more from her than from anyone else.  She is a comforter, big time.  Adley can rip a wad of her hair out and Elyse is the first one to comfort the upset toddler who was told "no".  She remains my steadfast helpmate and her love for cooking and baking has us both in the kitchen multiple times a week.  The extra mess has been worth it each time.  Hopefully, one day, she will be willing to eat more of what we cook together as the food battles remain.....improved, but still present.  Her sensitivities aren't just emotional, she seems to have exacerbated senses in general.  She can smell and hear things most anyone would miss.  She's just like me in so very many ways, my tender heart goes out to her because being sensitive can be hard but if there's one things I wouldn't change about myself it would be that.  At bedtime, after we've read her 3 chosen books, she still begs for one of us to lay in bed with her.  What started as a treat is now a nightly ritual and the conversation and prayers couldn't be sweeter.  

Adley......sweet, sweet, busy, Adley.  She's 18 months old today.  Need I say more?  She's become my little buddy and enjoys being along for the ride in anything.  She remains easy, content and very laid back but has started to show her sensitive side when instructed to do things she doesn't want to do.  The battle of fleshly desires and parental instruction has begun and it's in such a different manner than Elyse expressed it that she has left us both stumped at times.  Nothing beats her huge hugs and open-mouthed kisses though.  In fact, she hugs strangers.  All.  The.  Time.  Some people think it's odd, most people, it seems to make their day.  She is honestly a ray of sunshine.  I get asked over and over, "is she always this happy?" and yes, she really is.  She tries her best to keep up in games of chase or wearing hooded towels as capes.  She holds her own in a family wrestling match and loves to rough house (which goes great with a sensitive sister ;-)).  At bedtime, after the same 2 picture books she wants read over and over, when she lays her sweet head on my shoulder, blankie in hand and thumb in mouth, she pats my back while we sing "twinkle twinkle".  A day couldn't end more peacefully.

They are amazing little girls who challenge and inspire me everyday.  Witnessing their relationship with each other unfold is pure joy.

I think that's about all the catching up I can do tonight.  It's past my bedtime ;-).