Despite how much I've learned lately, I'm finding myself feeling rather overwhelmed at the moment so this afternoon I decided to break it down.  It isn't what ifs,  if onlys, or whys, I'm finding it's more that I'm allowing small things to have big shadows.  

The big thing hanging over us is our move.  Our house has been under contract for almost 4 weeks and we heard almost no news of real progress on the sale in that time.  We looked around at potential homes here and there a bit but were advised not to start packing yet or signing any contracts, and we agreed with this advice.  Well, long story short, the buyers changed lenders and things started moving very quickly.  We have 3 to 4 weeks to find somewhere to live, pack, move out of and move into a home during one of Matt's busiest seasons.....with a toddler, while pregnant. 

We can handle this.  I know we can.  It will take planning, organization, time off work for Matt and probably some help from family and friends, but it will be fine.  However, it's this one big thing that's hanging there that I'm allowing to cast unrealistic shadows on other smaller things.  For example, our long weekend trip to Disney this weekend.  Not a big deal.  Should be a very exciting and fun time for all of us.  Instead, I'm stressing about the packing, whether or not this is what we should be doing during all of this (this was planned even before the house stuff became an issue), whether it's how we should be spending money with so many other unknown factors involved.  I'm allowing "the most magical place on earth where dreams come true" to somehow seem like a burden.

Then there's the shadow cast by things that I'm choosing to do now (I'll go into more detail another time)versus later, for my own reasons, but it will be hard and create more stress for a little while but the end result will be very worth it.  I've been debating waiting because of everything else that's going on but it's also, in part, because of these other factors that have prompted me to do it in the first place.  Should I procrastinate because it's easier and more comfortable now to just wait?  I really don't want to and I certainly don't want that to be my answer why.....but it does put one more thing on my plate that wouldn't otherwise be there.

Then of course there are the other little things like getting the final plans organized for a friend and I to get together to make a cake for my older sisters baby shower next weekend, going to the 3 doctor appointments Elyse and I had this week plus usual errands, chores and hiccups of life.  None of those things deserve any sort of shadow but I allowed them one.

I sat down and made a list of these so called things and the fact of the matter is they're just small.  When separated and removed from beneath the umbrella of the one big thing, they almost seem nonexistent.  They are what we call "life".  Nothing crazy, nothing extraordinary, just things that need to be prioritized and acknowledged, but nothing that deserves to unsettle my peace.  The peace that I aim to abide within this home.  No, they just aren't big or worthwhile enough.   

350 times in scripture God tells us not to fear.  He knew we would be prone to it and that we would need to hear that.  It isn't a suggestion, but a command.  Worry and anxiety are a form of fear and the more I've studied, the more I've learned that those words are interchangeable because they all disturb the peace of your mind.

Freedom from this lies in obedience and I'm called to trust and acknowledge that He will make straight and direct my paths (Provers 3: 5-6).

This whole path to contentment thing is found through faith in God and faith is our weapon against blocks in contentment.  What do I know about faith?

Faith is being sure of what we hope for and certain of what we do not see (Hebrews 11:1). 

And without faith it is impossible to please God, because anyone who comes to him must believe that he exists and that he rewards those who earnestly seek him (Hebrews 11:6).

Funny how small and insignificant things can seem what put in the correct light.