Yes Day

After sleeping terribly the 2 nights we've been back, Monday night not sleeping at all (as in not one wink), Tuesday was rough for me.  I was in a haze, a fog.  I expected to have a short fuse, which at times I did, but worse than that I just wasn't present.  Elyse would ask questions or need things and I wasn't even aware due to the fogginess of my mind.

I went to bed last night early, determined to sleep.  I took some herbal sleep capsules a dear friend picked up for me from Whole Foods, took a calcium and magnesium supplement, drank some chamomile tea and melted under the covers into my book.  I.  Slept.  Hard.

Today I awoke much more refreshed and determined to give this day to my kids.  I declared it yes day.  I decided early on that I just wouldn't get anything extra done (chores, laundry, etc.).  Elyse asked if she could eat lunch at school.  Yes.  After my workout during Adley's morning nap I played with her much more than usual instead of doing chores.  When I picked Elyse up after lunch from preschool she asked if we would please stop and get frozen yogurt.  Yes.  We're napping Elyse 4 days a week now instead of 7 due to her seeming to be phasing it out.  So when she asked if she could miss nap today?  Yes.  Could we play in the back yard and swing on the neighbors swing?  Yes.  Could she play in the sandbox?  Yes.  Could she go swimming?  Yes.  Could I play cave (hide under chairs, Adley gets into it too) with her?  Yes.  Could we go for a walk and look at Halloween decorations?  Yes.

By this afternoon she was giving me kisses, telling me she loved me and giggling all over the place.  She requested nose kisses and to sit with me to look at our pond.

When it came time for me to make dinner there was no pulling at my clothes or chattering at my heels.  They were both perfectly content to entertain themselves, after all, they'd had plenty of mommy all day.

Saying yes wasn't hard.  Making time with them wasn't hard.  I'm used to that.  Purposefully saying no to everything else I would normally try to cram in was.  Obviously I can't say no to everything else all day everyday, but I can balance it all better.  We don't have a house cleaning service yet but with all of Matt's travel and long hours we've been considering getting one.  I've never loved the idea like many people do or would.  I consider cleaning part of my job.  It's what I do.  To pay someone else to do it would feel like I've failed somehow.  I feel like I do it well for us and it really doesn't bother me to get it done.  Today caused me to pause and consider that I wouldn't be failing in one area of my job, it would aid in helping me thrive in another.  It would be a huge luxury no doubt, but the smiles on my children and the calm of my heart at the end of this day today were huge.  I've devoted so much more time to the kitchen lately, that giving up the cleaning might be very worthwhile for all of us.

It's 7:45 pm and the house is quiet aside from the sound of my fingertips against the keyboard.  With our new schedule of occasional missed naps yielding an early bedtime, I actually have energy left at the end of the day to finish a few things up......better get to it, MOMS Club finances are calling and photography emails need sending.