"Lucky"

Right now there are a few close and distant couples that we know going through some difficult times. Having both been divorced, Matt and I know all too well the hurt, pain, and despair that can go along with these trials. I have publicly and privately shed tears for these couples, empathetically my heart aches right now for them.

As I discussed these things with Matt and just talked about how thankful I am to be where we are and in the kind of marriage we have, he looked at me and said, "Yeah, we are really lucky." Time stood still to me just then. My mind jumped back to several years ago before we even knew each other and images flashed like a movie screen through my mind. The rejection of abandonment, the ego blows of infidelity, the indescribable and excruciating pain of a divorce you didn't see coming, we've been there. The fear that your life is over, the weakness and inability to imagine that life will somehow go on, and oh the tears . . . I'm sure I wept gallons of them, some out of anguish, some out of despair, others out of the painful fact that my body could contain the emotion no more and my eyes just overflowed. The sleepless nights, the inability to eat, it all flashed before my eyes in an instant, and then it was gone.

Then came the memories of restoration, a complete healing only God can do. He allowed me to move on with the knowledge, experience, and wisdom of past endured trials, but without an ounce of the pain. I mean that when I say it, I moved on in life with only the good. He never once took me out of the fire but He walked through it with me, right by my side. Then He gave me Matt.

I am far from embarrassed and I carry no shame, it is my personal testimony of Romans 8:28. I have shared my story with many, others haven't a clue. Acquaintances, even close friends have also called me "lucky". On the surface you can't see the past I've briefly described. You also can't see the weeks spent in pre-marriage counseling with Matt, the marriage books on our bookshelf wilted from reading, the days spent at marriage conferences, or the hours on my knees in prayer. In the dictionary luck is described as "occurring by chance". So in this, I'm not lucky. I'm lucky if I get a good parking space somewhere or find the perfect outfit for 75% off. I have invested hours of personal time and given conscious effort to this important area of my life, I assure you, it isn't luck.

So if we ever see from a distance someone else's marriage, children, finances, spiritual walk, or other circumstance and they seem so lucky, like a perfect world fell right in their lap and they just happened to be in the right seat . . . that just might not be the case. People invest in what they value and it shows.