Meaningful movement

I'm trying to absorb every last squirm and kick that I feel our daughter make. I know without a doubt I'm going to miss this. Carrying her with me throughout the day and having this constant little companion is priceless. It's been such a gift and words pale in describing how intimate this is. I'm not sure how much I'll actually feel that once she is here because I know I will be so thankful and overwhelmed with her very presence that the thought of missing her movements inside me may not linger long.

My heart swells and my love for her grows with each movement she makes. The strength of her limbs have increased with every passing week as she grows bigger and stronger, which makes her presence that much more apparent and tells me she is already growing up so fast. It's almost as though she is using those little hands and arms to draw me closer to her. Sometimes her movements feel so intense and determined it's as if she has a goal in mind. I like to imagine that she is squirming around trying to find a way to hold onto me if she could just figure out how.

I have a pregnant friend who is just a few weeks behind me, she said "I don't like feeling the baby move. It's weird and uncomfortable". Other women have described it to me as slightly painful or said they felt like there was an alien inside them. I'm thankful I have never shared these thoughts. Maybe it's all about perspective because the added weight isn't my idea of fun, the excruciating back pain can be unbearable at times, bringing me to tears, and feeling her movement is a unique and different feeling to say the least, but it's exhilarating to me.

There will likely only be a couple of times in my life that I get to experience this. You're almost half-way through the pregnancy before this begins and I'm only 110 days from my due date now. In hindsight it will seem like such a blink in time and I will never, ever be able to experience this again with her. She and I have been given these few months that belong to us alone. No one else gets to carry her around or take her everywhere they go, no one else's walking calms her to sleep or gets to feel her movements settle when I rock back and forth on my feet. Mine is the only voice she hears from within. Her secluded quarters gently vibrate with the movements of my laughter or my crying. It is intimate to say the least and as much as my arms long to hold her and my lips long to meet the soft skin of her cheeks, I'm soaking this in because I am definitely going to miss this.