Alone . . . but not really

Matt was out of town in Atlanta for work. It was the first time he's been gone since we'd gotten the new couch and Mandy no longer sleeps with me. In a desperate attempt to have company in bed I carried her in her cat bed and placed her snugly near me. That lasted all of a few minutes and she was gone to the couch again.

Now to realize what a big deal this is, I must explain that I have had Mandy for almost 21 years and I'm sure there were the occasional times, but I really don't remember ever not sleeping with her. Her company has been especially nice when Matt has to go out of town for work. We would both sprawl out in our spots on the bed, taking advantage of the extra space. She has been my little roommate through it all. She was there when I got glasses, contacts, my drivers permit, moved out on my own, a college degree, boyfriends, braces, zits, from age 7 to 27, she has been there. Although I'm beyond grateful for her to be here so long (I think that's another one of those little favors from God because he loves me), I'm more than a little sad to see her age and not have her with me at night.

So the other night when she left me in bed, I decided to settle in alone for the first time in years and I began to pray before reading. During part of my prayer I placed my hand softly on my swollen abdomen and asked God to grant Matt and I wisdom and discernment as parents, to protect our baby, to give our baby a servant's heart and a teachable spirit . . . the baby just started moving like crazy! There was no mistaking that this was our child shaking and stirring just beneath the surface of my skin. I felt it so distinct and so sure. I was overwhelmed with gratitude for such a precious moment reserved just between my baby and I, and it dawned on me . . . I am so unbelievably far from alone. I have a person, a real, living person growing inside of me and I have an ever present, omniscient God who has never left me, not for a second. I just love when He points stuff like that out to me if I'd just pay attention.

*Update: the second night Matt was gone, Mandy slept with me almost all night :). Matt will be home tonight and the thought of everyone in bed together again makes me feel so . . . full. Life is good.