Rough day

This is actually a "yawn" picture because we don't have a crying picture, but they resemble each other closely enough that the face fit the title.

Maybe it's the gloomy weather, the broken sleep, hormones, or being confined that's finally catching up to me....whatever it is, it made me cry today. Outwardly everything is going so well. Elyse is a wonderful baby, Matt has far exceeded my expectations and has gone above and beyond in taking care of me and Elyse, nursing is going well...situationally there is nothing I would change (except maybe a good nap once a day, I still have so much trouble napping). In fact, as I type Elyse and Matt are napping so peacefully...I laid down for almost an hour with them and couldn't fall asleep so here I am blogging.

I have to remind myself that my body is still physically far from normal. I'm still healing, the supply and demand of milk production still has wrinkles to be ironed out, and I must be more tired that I allow myself to realize. I love going for walks, but the day long thunderstorms have made that impossible for most of this week. As an outing I was going to go to Target today but later decided against it because I didn't want to take Elyse out in the pouring rain and Matt and I still weren't comfortable with me leaving her home when her feedings are still so unpredictable. I got dressed this morning, but later found myself wondering why. I never even brushed my hair. Am I going to become one of those mom's whose wardrobe consists of sweat pants and t-shirts whose only hair style is a matted pony tail? Is it normal for me to be feeling this way?

It's funny how much better I feel just putting it into words and "getting it out" so to speak. Maybe I need some sleep and to get out of the house or maybe I have a mild case of the "baby blues". Either way, I know me and I know it won't last long. I have far too much to be thankful for and it's nothing that some devotional time won't eventually heal.