You turn your back for two seconds....

 and your oldest dumps a flour/corn meal mix on the baby's head.

 I wish I could express how thick it was, how wonderful an idea Elyse seemed to think it was, and how elated Adley was by it all.  I couldn't help but chuckle and put them both in the tub, no discipline needed.  Sometimes these things just happen and it helps us all lighten up a little.


Tonight Elyse and I were playing.  Lately she's very into lip gloss.  My mom got her her very own purse with 3 different colors and flavors and she adores them.  I helped her put it on tonight, explaining it's purpose and that we don't use our fingers to dig it out.  I showed her how to turn up the tube to make it higher so you don't have to dig for it and she thought that was the best thing since Snuggie.....she still dug it out though.

While I was putting the lip gloss on her small, perfect lips that don't need a hint of color and I don't have to worry about them puckering for anyone but us, my mind couldn't help but fast forward.  I immediately saw myself putting lipstick on those same lips at her wedding and I saw myself, in that moment, flashing back to tonight.

Freeze.  Pause.  That's my little girl.  I'll be so thankful if it's me doing it though.

Grandma came for a visit so we had to be sure and dine her in the best of restaurants.

 My mom did such a wonderful job entertaining Elyse this morning so while Adley napped and they played I vacuumed, mopped, washed all the rugs and towels, and did 3 loads of laundry.  I cleaned the tracks of all 3 sliding glass doors and also managed to clean window sills.  I was amazed how productive I was in such a short period of time.  Maybe, just maybe, I got ahead enough today to enjoy some personal time during afternoon naps tomorrow.

If you don't live here and know for yourself, I'm sure you've heard, the weather this week has been absolutely amazing!  To be approaching May and have temperatures in the 50's at night and windows and doors open each evening is so rare in Florida.  I have savored and soaked every second of it that I could because I know the 90's are just around the corner.

Pictures, just because so many of you tell me how much you enjoy them:

Adley so often looks like this......

 that I've had a hard time capturing these.....

I finally got a good shot of those baby blues, and some green peas too, of course.

I'll share a couple favorites from a newborn session this week.....

I had a to-do list a bazillion miles long this week and I'm satisfied with how much I've chipped away at it.  I haven't had much down time and it's meant a few later evenings, but I'm content with the items I've checked off.  The ones that remain will have their turn too.

One of the items was my nursing license.  It was up for renewal again, as it is every 2 years, and this is the second time I've had to decide whether to keep it active or go inactive.  I'm not actively using it and it takes about 26 continuing education credit hours to maintain it along with the expense associated with that.

On and off I've used the RN behind my name at the Pregnancy Center and as camp nurse as our churches VBS.  I decided those two things alone made it worth maintaining my license to I spent the time acquiring the credits I needed.

I really think one day God will use those two little letters behind my name for something big.  I know He already has when I was actively using them before, but my hearts desire is to put those initials to use again one day.

Okay, so Blogger made me install some sort of new browser to access my blog which is why I haven't posted recently.  I just wanted to jump on and say I'm still here.

On a different note, our cat, Mandy, is not.  Approaching her 25th birthday, she was put to sleep this past Saturday.  It was just time.

The house is eerily quiet at night without her random loud yelping.  Elyse asks questions daily about her coming back home.  She's missed, her litter box is not.

I was in second grade when I got her and had her until after I had my second child.  Elyse, in her second year of life, knew her well.

As I reflect back on Mandy's life with me it's amazing to realize how long I had her.  Glasses, braces, boyfriends, college and kids.......I don't remember a milestone event in my life without her.

The vet on Saturday was great.  I shed my share of tears and the vet seemed extra considerate and respectful of Mandy's age and our history.  She said Mandy was the oldest cat she had ever seen and made sure I felt confident in our decision to put her to sleep.  It was odd leaving without her.  I've never left any phase of my life without  her, so to leave her behind permanently took several days to sink in.

I feel better and better about it as each day passes.  How fortunate I was to enjoy her companionship for so long!  To some this all may sound silly, it's "just a cat", but she really was my family.  I remember whispering secrets to her through tears in my bed many, many a nights when I was little.  It used to bother me when as soon as I would get out my books to study, she would climb up and sit right on them.  She slept next to me in bed for two decades, several years right on my pillow.  We used to play hide-and-seek....I was the only one who would hide, but she could always find me.  Remembering her young really showed me how much she had declined in age.  She had probably been ready for awhile, it was me who didn't see it, me who denied it.  I'm thankful I finally gave her the peaceful ending she deserved.

Goodbye Mandy.

Tranquil Tuesday

I'm starting to love Tuesday mornings. It's one of the few moorings we don't have anywhere to be, sometimes all day, but most importantly nothing early. I love being able to linger in my pajamas and start the day slowly.

It's 8:15 and Elyse is still asleep and I haven't even made myself breakfast yet. The only noises I hear are the hum of Elyse's monitor and Adley quietly gulping alongside me.

In this calm start to the day I'm committing to patience and understanding today. I will strive to maintain this peace, to be slow to anger and slow to speak. I will listen to Elyse and keep harsh words from my tongue. I'm claiming Tuesday to remain tranquil and I will work our other "T" word, toddler, into there as well.....Tranquil Toddler Tuesdays.....one thing at a time I guess.

Tornado Monday's

Tornado Tuesday's sounds so much more catchy but I'm finding lately that Monday's are my tornado days, so tornado Monday's it is.  I'll have to try to come up with something that starts with "M", but that would be just another thing on the to-do list today and there just isn't room for it.  While Elyse was at preschool I went grocery shopping, got laundry going, put dishes away, did my exercise video and cleaned the kitchen.  I'm still very, very behind on housework.

I had 2 newborn photo sessions last week and a family session scheduled this week.  It will be my first family AND maternity session.......I'm hoping it goes okay.

Saturday we had a family birthday party at a gorgeous park in Palm Harbor that we didn't even know existed.  There are so many parks in our area, we seem to be discovering all these hidden treasures of Florida constantly.  It wiped us all out pretty good and all 3 Borrack girls slept well over 2 hours after the birthday party.  We woke up, turned on the pool spa, made some dinner and lounged the rest of the evening.  It was a nice way to spend a Saturday.

Yesterday was so busy and I feel like I'm still recovering.  Church, a couple of errands, lunch and naps, prep/pack for photo session, photo session, drive to Lakeland for Erika's birthday dinner, drive home.  Both girls didn't get to bed until after 9pm.  Elyse handled it great, Adley not so much.  Poor girl was very tear-streaked by the time we got home.  I felt bad about it, but sometimes (very rarely) that's just how it is.

I'll post a couple of my favorites from the two sessions below.


This little man arrived just under 3 weeks early and weighed 8.5 pounds.  His personality was just as sweet as his cheeks.

This little lady also came early and weighed in at over 9 pounds and arrived on Easter Sunday.  I thought that was a pretty special birthday to have, so of course we had to put her in a basket with some ears.  She was simply precious!  Shooting her made my uterus feel empty.  Silly I know.  I just love these little people.

I've looked into starting a website but even with a deep discount from a close friend, I'm still not sure I can afford it or want to invest that heavily in this yet.  I don't know what to do first....website, equipment, props, raise prices to do a little of it all?  I also need to figure out what I need to do to be doing this the right way as far as taxes, rights to photos, etc.  There's so much more to think about than I imagined and as much as I enjoy it and would like to make a little money doing it, it could feel like a "job" very quickly and I just don't want that. 

Balance.  The word I'm constantly seeking on a daily basis in almost everything.

Happy Easter!

A great weekend was had around here.  The girls were getting over a cold that I caught by Sunday, but we really had a great time.

Good Friday was very good. 

Easter Sunday service was a different message than most, but one that tied in perfectly.  I just love our church and our pastor.

I have so much I'd like to say, but as usual, very little time devoted to being able to express it.  I'm just full.  I'm thankful.  Easter does that to me.  It's an emotional thanks, an undeserving, overwhelming feeling that I welcome this time of year as I'm beckoned to reflect, really dwell on the death, burial and resurrection of my Savior. 

I tried to teach Elyse what the fuss was all about.  Tried to get her to see past bunnies, eggs and candy and talk to her about what was sacrificed for her, for everyone.  She didn't get it.....but she will, one day.



A few captured moments

I love this picture. I love this picture because I know her. I see the toes she wants painted daily. I see how, to her, even sidewalk chalk isn't a reason to take your helmet off in case you get back on your bike. I see the outfit my mom gave her. I see the bike her Opa and Kathy gave her. I see a little girl who used to be my baby. I see sandals that go between her toes that she wouldn't touch last year, but begs for "flip flop toes" this year. I see the driveway of a home I never dreamt I'd be living in. I see a girl who challenged me more than not today as I counted down the hours until bedtime, yet somehow now, as she's fast asleep, I want to stroke her cheek, kiss her forehead, hear her laugh (and then put her right back to bed).  I see our Elyse. I see tears in my eyes.

 

And the one of Adley, well, it shows her dimples, her slanted eyes that almost appear Chinese in nature. I can see her hair that sticks up that won't lay flat despite my greatest efforts. I see a girl that's been challenging to progress with food but has been patient and willing as we endure the process. I see my baby, likely my last, but a big part of me hopes not, that always smiles just because you did. I see sweetness. I see our Adley. I see tears in my eyes.

Sometimes I look at pictures and think, wow, a video would have been so much better to have to really be able to relive that moment later on.  To hear the sounds, get a feel for the atmosphere.  Other times a picture really does say 1,000 words.  I love pictures.  I love letting my heart fill in the blanks that aren't captured with the sound and movement of a video. 

Years from now though, I'll love to watch the videos as well.  I need to remember to do a good portion of both.  It goes by too fast and I'm caught up in far too many busy moments where I find myself wishing the day away.  I think I'll regret wishing days away.  I already do. 

Sometimes, when Matt is traveling a lot, I find myself gearing up for survival mode.  Going through the day to day things with the girls entirely solo.  I can handle the work load, that's for sure, but as much as I try to make the most of it (and I truly do), it can get lonely and the days can get long.  I love him.  I support him.  I will always encourage him as he leads and provides for our family.  But I am allowed to miss him.  Looking at these pictures really makes me wish these moments were shared.

Thanks to the internet, even plane flights away, they are.

Not blogworthy

I've had trouble blogging lately.  Not for lack of thoughts or things to say, just a matter of whether or not I think they're worth reading I suppose. 

I often blog about what's going on.  In our home, in my head, or in my heart.  It's usually just about a few captured moments. 

What has taken a lot of my time lately has been striving to get healthier.  My diet has changed quite a bit, gradually, but somewhat drastically as I reflect on what I commonly ate nearly 3 months ago.  I'm exercising.  A lot.  My joints are sore but I'm finally seeing the fruits of my labor.

I'm reading more about photography and toying with settings when I get the chance.  As I look back over pictures, even ones just recently posted, I'm beginning to see so, so much room for improvement and things I would do differently the next time.  Mostly, my current pictures make me want a new camera lens but I won't be getting that anytime soon.

The rest of my time involves children, chores and meals, weekly bible study and MOMS Club treasurer duties, and more chores, lots of those, oh, and errands, lots of those too.

That's my life.  Hasn't really seemed blog worthy lately. 

The other day I was thinking about how excited I should feel, how content, thankful and happy I should be.  I'm healthier than ever, pursuing a hobby I really enjoy, and raising 2 precious girls alongside one amazing man.  I haven't been feeling that and it's lingered.  I'm realizing in all of this busyness, in pursuit of these time consuming things, I've lost sight of my purpose. 

I often see other people who are so passionate about things like food and health, hobbies and interests, careers and goals.  People who are admirably focused and impressively driven with a passionate pursuit to better or achieve something in their lives.  I often think, what if they channelled all of that passion into the Kingdom of God?  What if I did?

I had difficulty even praying about it.  I wanted to seek God's direction and ask Him what I should be doing but I already knew the answer and Sunday's message at church confirmed it.  Am I loving God with all my heart, all my soul and all my mind?  Am I loving others like Jesus would?  Am I helping the widows and orphans (the least of these)?  Am I storing up my treasure in heaven?  Question after question came and went.  Some I could confidently answer, others I could not.  I began to feel guilty, shameful even.  Guilt and shame.  Those two words alone let me know those feelings were not coming from the right place but that I needed to get to the right place.  The right place doesn't move, waiver or change.  My Right Place doesn't want me to carry those feelings.  My Right Place wanted my attention, wants me back, and will love and lead me the entire way.

I needed to admit to myself and to Him that I've drifted.  I've been slacking.  I committed to beginning my day before the rest of the house.  Starting the day in my bible, in His quiet and stillness.  I committed to change.  Those beautiful, peaceful mornings where nothing was stirring but my spirit, were what I needed then and still need now.  I slacked.  I hit snooze.  I eventually stopped setting my alarm. 

Each day, in each situation I face, it's evident to me how vital that time is to prepare my heart for the day.  I can be pretty rough around the edges without the softening of the Holy Spirit.  I don't like being rough.  My sensory toddler doesn't even like scratchy legs or waffles.  If I want her best, I need to be my best.

I need to reclaim my purpose.  I need to go to bed soon.  I need to set my alarm.  I need to give that time back to it's rightful owner.