I love kids and bubbles.

Well, I caught Elyse's bug and carried it for a couple of days myself. That was no fun. Matt was a huge help though and I'm so glad I felt my worst while he was able to be home with us. Needless to say we didn't really do much all weekend because of it. Sunday afternoon we did decide to take Elyse to the spray park for a little bit just in time to be rushed out by rain and thunder. We skipped our Sunday night movie to turn on the radio and just talk. It was nice. Yesterday Rachel came over and she and I took Elyse to a little "beach" we had never been to before for a couple of hours only to be told (while in the water) that it was "high bacteria" so we left. Great. I felt like mom of the year for sure.

Cooking side note: Matt requested a salad for dinner last Thursday. His hours have been long and this was the first time he was able to eat with us all week so I wanted to do something special. I decided upon a new recipe for tex-mex chicken caesar salad. It was a lot of work for one salad and a ton of dishes. The croutons were from scratch as was the salad dressing and the marinade for the chicken. I took a picture of it because it was a rather pretty salad but we did not like it at all so I decided not to post it. I was pretty bummed. Oh well, I learned a little in the process. Friday he requested lasagna. I followed a new but very simple "healthy" recipe and it came out dry and the wheat noodles just weren't the same. Neither of us cared for it. I was bummed again. Oh well, again I learned. I'll continue to try new things but maybe not two dinners in a row.

Earning my stripes

Elyse tossed the graham crackers a total of 7 times today. It was heart wrenching. She was acting okay, at one point she was walking around carrying her purse (she is a total girl) and tossed them then. She walked right into it, slipped in her own goods on the tile and slammed her head on the floor. It was bad. By the 4th time I had a call into the pediatrician, by the 7th they had called me back and wanted to see her because of her age and weight already.

We waited and waited and waited. I didn't mind because she was such a good and snugly girl. She just sat in my lap and laid her head on my chest and we rocked back and forth as I sang, "He's got the whole world in His hands.....". She NEVER lays on me. She NEVER sits still. She NEVER cuddles. Puke or not, I'll take it where I can get it. Even after 2 different baths we both wore the rancid smell.

They checked her glucose and gave her a pedialyte popsicle challenge. If she could keep it down we could go home, if not, hospital for IV fluids it was. Yikes! Talk about pressure! She did pass and we are home now. She is resting peacefully even though she has an extremely empty stomach.

My prayers are for a completely healed tummy and a restored Elyse.

Toddler tossing the graham crackers.....I've officially passed the threshold from baby spit up. This is a whole new ball game.

I just wanted to see her little smile since she was so miserable today and I hadn't posted pictures in awhile so I wanted to share them with you too.

Pedicure

My mom encouraged me to go and get a pedicure while she was here last week. It's been awhile since I had one and I do love them, I just don't like spending money on things like that. After all, I do know how to paint my own toes. After thinking about it I figured why not and went. I definitely enjoyed it but within the week the polish was chipping off like crazy. Every time I notice it I just picture little quarters and dimes falling off my toe nails and I regret that I ever went. I think I might be a little weird. I'll paint my own toes next time.

Wow....I certainly don't update as often as I used to since moving the computer out of the family room. I am definitely on it less which is good but now that another week has gone by I'll have to just catch this up to speed and not take the time to really write like I used to.

Matt has been working quite a bit. The poor guy has been putting in crazy hours with the corporate tax deadline of September 15th quickly approaching. My mom came for a couple of nights last week to keep me company and we had a great time as always. Saturday we went to a birthday party at Fort De Soto beach and it was great! We had never been there before but I think we will definitely try to go back. A new friend invited me to a pasta and wine girls night at her friends house so I went to that during the evening. I didn't know anyone very well so I was a little nervous but it turned out to be a good time. Sunday we made the trip to see Oma and alas Monday has found us again.

I was dragging this morning. Not out of fatigue or anything, but because it was Monday. This busy season of Matt's has made both of us appreciate our weekends so much more and caused me to completely dread Mondays. I feel like the song that goes....."Everybody's workin' for the weekend". Well I went to my usual Monday morning gym class and I just love the instructor. She is always so upbeat, positive, loud, high energy and even sneakily slips in some Christian encouragement which I love. Today during the middle of the work out she rhetorically asked why there were so many frowns in the room. She went on to say, "Yes it's Monday and yes it's raining but guess what? It will still be Monday and still be raining whether you frown or not so let's all smile!" She continued, "We were given the wonderful ability to choose so why not choose to smile!" She then had us hop (sometimes she makes us skip) because after all, who can be sad when they are hopping or skipping. What she said was so simple but so true and I needed it this morning. I was making the choice to let Monday be a discouraging thing and her little pep talk helped me completely change the outlook on my day.

This is the day which the LORD has made; Let us rejoice and be glad in it. Psalm 118:24

What a weekend!

While at work on Friday Matt was offered Ray's tickets that also included food and drink. All we needed was a babysitter and I had about 4 hours to figure that out. After about 7 phone calls we got one and we were able to go. It was our first time using this sitter and she charges us $10 an hour!!!! I tried to negotiate but she stuck to her guns and we agreed to pay it. However, I did let her know there was some laundry that could be done once Elyse was asleep so that helped me feel like we got a little bit of our money's worth at least. We had a great time even though the Ray's lost. I've learned that as much as I love to be spontaneous with things like that, now that we don't get out as much I really appreciate having something to look forward to as well. I was thrilled that we were able to go but having a date circled in a pretty bright color on the calendar in anticipation is half the fun to me as well.

Saturday we took advantage of the sales that coincided with the tax free weekend and did rather well if I do say so myself. That night we had some new friends over. A couple and their daughter who is just a little younger than Elyse and live about 5 minutes away. We had a great time visiting with them and enjoyed grilled pineapple chicken, summer salad, and red potato wedges that were cooked on the grill as well. It was a great dinner! I made some no bake cookies for dessert and since Matt likes them cold we completely forgot to take them out of the fridge until after our guests were gone. Oh well, more for us.

After church on Sunday we went to Mark and Kathy's for some back to school swimming with all the kids. Near a pool is about the only way I can stand Florida's August heat so it worked out rather well.

I was lazy today. I took a morning nap while Elyse took hers, ran a couple of errands, then as the lack of productivity glared back at me this evening I managed to get a few things done so I didn't feel quite as lazy. The alternate progress will continue tomorrow when the carpets get cleaned but moving things in preparation for that has not been fun this evening. It will be worth it in the end though.

My mom is coming tomorrow for a couple of nights and I'm excited about that, it's definitely a great way to start the week.

Alternate progress

I don't even know what I really mean by that title. It seems like a waste of a title because given the right circumstance it could have a very deep meaning to something. Today I just mean that recently I have painted the front door and mailbox, pressure washed our sidewalks (with Matt's help as well), cleaned off the back porch and had mulch laid around our plant beds. I also ran like 5 errands in a little over an hour WITH Elyse.....but I still feel a lack of progress because there is much cleaning needed to be done on the inside of the house and other more time consuming errands that are needed as well. However, I do feel content with what I have gotten done today so this alternate progress will have to do.

I took my laptop over to my dad's house last night for some help with a few things. He asked me a couple of simple questions and I had no idea what the answers were. I tried to describe what I think our computer endured over the last couple of weeks and where we were at with it right now but I'm not sure I was much help. I should be, or rather am, embarrassed about how non-computer savvy I am. It got me thinking.....what am I good at? I've pondered that question a lot more now that I'm a stay at home mom. Our pastor at church has also mentioned that our God given gifts/talents are often wrapped within a passion that we happen to be good at. It could be as simple and sweet as the gift of encouragement or something bigger and more demanding like missionary work in third world countries. He of course states it much more eloquently with power and insight behind it, but you get the idea.

As I reflected back on that and what it seems to mean to me I really think it is continually changing as my life changes. I'm not sure if that's considered normal or not because plenty of people seem to have lifelong gifts and talents but thus far I haven't discovered that in myself yet. I just can't shake the feeling that there is something within me that I'm just not tapping into. There is some large part of me, still hidden, that will be used in a big way......some day, but today is not that day. I'm not ready yet.

Today I have changed diapers.
Prepared and cleaned up meals (and with a child learning to use a spoon that is no little task).
Put away laundry.
Read stories to a tired toddler.
Booked the carpet cleaners.
Paid a bill.
Kissed a forehead.
Did some dishes.
Cleaned out a linen closet.
Pondered. It seems as though I am always pondering something.

Lately more than ever my heart is here and it is plugged into these tasks. It takes a conscious effort on my part to think of them as service and not just chores and it makes such a difference. Praying over the little feet that fill the tiny socks as I fold them or asking for great productivity and office staff support over a very busy CPA as I place his slacks on the hanger.

It may not be my "gift" and I may not do it well. The smile may be hard to wear at times but I am determined to do this with a cheerful heart because it is a season I will not get back. The peace that has come from finally realizing that where I am at is not all He has for me but is a time used to prepare me for what is to come is incredible. It has changed my day every day.

Wow....it's been almost 2 weeks since I've posted

That has to be a record for me.

We ran into some minor computer problems that quickly turned to major. Thankfully a close friends husband worked hard for a few evenings to fix what appeared to be the problem so for the time being we are somewhat back in business. We have had the computer back since Monday but I didn't rush to get it up and running again. In the days without it I quickly realized I spend far too much time on it doing things that aren't necessary. Without it set up there was no temptation to Google this or that or check my email or Facebook. It was a little nerve racking at first but I told myself if someone really needs to get a hold of me they know how. I quickly became comfortable not having computer access and giving myself the extra days without it helped me become more confident that I will not fall back into my old habits.

Many little things happened over the last couple of weeks. I won't bore you with all of them and 2 weeks just seems like a lot to catch up on anyway so I'll only mention the bigger stuff. One of the best was a zoo date Elyse and I had with several former NICU graduates I cared for in years past. It was so good to see the little ones thriving and running around and to reconnect with the moms again as well. Another fun thing we did was go to the Clearwater Aquarium where we saw Winter, the dolphin with the prosthetic tail. She is definitely amazing.

On a completely different note I really want to mention where I'm at right now. A few posts back I wrote about my doubts as a stay at home mom and it is something I have definitely struggled with. At one point I was even online looking for a job. I don't think Matt really knew what to say but I knew neither of us really wanted me to work, but what was my problem then? One evening we sat down and had a good, long talk about it. We realized I was probably one of the few moms who left behind a career she loved. I didn't leave a paycheck, I left a passion. We discovered one of the things I miss the most is the critical thinking. I worked in an ICU setting where lives were literally at stake every single day. I performed CPR with 2 fingertips on skin that was so translucent you could see every branch of the vascular system. I had to calculate drugs, administer medications from the smallest of syringes into the tiniest of veins. I witnessed life begin and I also witnessed it end. A single 12 hour shift could contain every human emotion possible but also require so much intense critical thinking. There was no other way to leave at the end of the day than completely drained in every way possible. It was challenging. It was rewarding. I absolutely loved the adrenaline. But I didn't want to go back to work, that I was sure of. Sure there were things I missed but the one thing I was not willing to miss was Elyse. I can't say there was any defining moment or great revelation that occurred, but that conversation was a turning point for me. I also happened to start the book Bringing Up Girls that night and truthfully God just took care of the rest. I was determined to change my mind set and look at days with Elyse completely differently. I structured our time differently and most importantly my attitude in approaching it. I was the problem and I was going to fix it. Literally almost overnight I felt an intense change in my heart and my daughter became my passion. Words from that book jumped off the pages and latched onto my heart in an indescribable way. I wanted to climb out of bed, pick her up out of her crib and just pray over her. I was intimidated and ignited all at the same time as I read about raising this precious little girl in this chaotic world we live in. Nothing about my old job can compare to the work I've been chosen to do in her life and in our family and no one is created to do it like I am. She is worthy of my best and in giving that to her I am serving Him and that is always the right place to be.

In part I felt like in order to embrace the challenge of parenting and become passionate about it meant that I needed to be worthy and to be worthy I had to be confident and, well, I was anything but. Once I saw the lie for what it was and refused to believe it any longer things got better, much better.

Like anyone else I've had numerous challenges and struggles, ups and downs. Going through them has often taught me patience but I was so amazed with how quickly these tides turned for me and so thankful I didn't have to carry that load even one day longer.

If you watched through our sliding glass door life as a whole probably doesn't look much different but I assure you, it is.