Dinner was a hit!

It's amazing how one small meal can add so much confidence in me...I tend to really struggle with that so a little affirmation goes such a long way. The mahi mahi glaze flavor was so good Matt said it tasted like something from a nice seafood restaurant...I must admit, I agreed. The green beans were nothing special but I always love the stuffed mushrooms. According to Matt this "must" go on the repeat list, that made me smile.

Life without "work"

Today is officially my first day where normally I would have gone to work and didn't. I must say, it feels nice...weird, a little boring even, but nice. I have a strong feeling I won't be using the word "bored" in my vocabulary much anymore, so I thought I'd throw it in while I could. I got a lot done yesterday and it felt good. I woke up with productivity coursing through my veins and I did some more sorting and rearranging in Elyse's closet. I also sorted and organized our Tupperware, pots and pans, and bake ware in the kitchen cabinets. We were the classic scenario of opening the cabinet to pull out one pan and they all come tumbling down. Well no more! Hopefully it stays that way for a little while.
I also went grocery shopping for the first time not having to plan meals around what can be thrown together in 10 minutes or less when we get home from work. I actually got out a cook book and made up a menu for the week of some new things to make....we'll see how it turns out. Last night I made chipotle chicken rolls with avocado dipping sauce...I felt like a real cook. I didn't take a picture of the ones I made, but they looked pretty much exactly like this. They were actually relatively simple to make and had a lot of fresh ingredients which was nice. We both liked them and they fed us, but definitely nothing to pass on for generations to come. The important part to me was that I didn't mess them up so I still have the courage to try making sweet lemon mahi mahi tonight, hopefully it turns out ok.

In baby news....we are officially due in less than a week. I've been a walking fool lately...I'm not sure why, but it just really feels good to go on long walks...it makes me feel less stagnant I guess and it's always nice to get outside. I'm also thankful for how well I've been able to rest at night lately. I've been getting 8 or 9 hours of sleep each night with usually only one restroom interruption. I know, I know...."enjoy it while you can", "it's about to be over forever", "you won't get that much sleep ever again", blah, blah, blah. People love to be negative and all of that may be the absolute truth, but we're not there yet and I am enjoying today to the fullest.

As for today...I don't have any real plans. I have an errand to run but nothing that must be done today, so I'm not sure what I'll do. Maybe I'll organize or rearrange something else, perhaps I'll just read a good book with my feet up, decisions, decisions.

Single digit lessons

It was fun to see this when we got up this morning! We started out in triple digits, slowly made our way to double, and today is our first day in the single digits! Matt and I wonder what happens when your due date comes and goes...do alarms go off or does it start spitting Pitocin at you? Maybe I'm getting it confused with the real world ;). People seem to have the thought that your due date is the last possible date that you should have delivered by, when nothing could be further from the truth. It is just an estimate and a VERY safe 2 week window on both sides...I'm not saying I hope to wait until the end of that 2 week window though...we are ready when God says Elyse is.

On another note, our doctor appointment went very well yesterday. A week ago I had been a little concerned over our lack of growth and measuring small. If there's one thing I've learned it's that fear and anxiety are not of God. He never meant that for us, so daily I gave Him my body and my daughter and asked that nothing more than His will be done with it. I asked Him to use me and this situation in whatever way He saw fit so that He could be honored...if that meant complications and interventions for a small baby, it was more than okay with me. I went to my appointment yesterday with such a sense of peace and assurance, it could have only come from God himself. I didn't have a worry in the world and knowing I had completely submitted myself to Him was the most calming feeling I'd ever experienced. This whole entire thing is not about me or Matt and it's not about Elyse either, it's about how it can be used for God and I love being a part of that. I feel like clay in His hands now and I'm so thankful to finally be at this place where I can say I'm truly ready for however this is going to play out.

So I went to the doctor yesterday prepared for anything but confident in everything. My doctor was thoroughly impressed with a growth of 2 centimeters in just one week when I hadn't grown in 5 weeks...I was thankful but not surprised. I snickered to myself and realized once again I'm being taught on where my hope and reliance MUST come from.

Can't sleep

Can one nap really throw your sleep off by quite a bit? I was early to rise yesterday, did a lot of tiring housework, took a one hour nap at 1pm, and am finding myself unable to sleep right now. We went to bed around 10:30pm and I felt very tired, my eyes were even watering, and yet I just laid there awake for 2 hours.

Maybe it was the nap, maybe it's just the excitement of being 10 days away from our due date. Matt and I sat there in bed watching the motion of Elyse just beneath my skin and her movements just seem so big now. When she stretches out she can almost completely flatten my normally rounded abdomen. I can always tell where her little feet are and she responds to our touch from the outside. She is very active at night and gets extremely squirmy when she has the hiccups. We watched and felt her in utter amazement....we are just so ready to meet her and see the amazing person creating all this internal havoc. In reality, I want both. I want to be able to carry her inside me for a little while longer and just truly enjoy this unique time, but I also want her here to nurture and touch. Knowing she's coming is also scary too....I've never been a mother before. Thankfully I have the perspective God's given me which helps with things like this. He often grants me the insight to truly appreciate and see His hand in so many things that I find myself not wanting to move on, but yet also having the understanding that He's growing me and He has other things in store for me. I want to know what's just around the bend, but I often don't want to release the grip of the incredible moment I'm in because it's often a good, safe one. Sometimes I want to hold on so tight that my knuckles turn white but I know I'm not ever meant to stay in one spot for long. When I reflect back on the last several years of my life and in hind sight see how I have been moved, changed, stretched, and taught, I surrender my shaky situational grip and cling to Him. He knows the plans He has for me, He leads me beside still waters, and He directs my path....I'm so thankful for that. I'm ready for all of this when He says it's time....not a moment sooner.

Actual birthday

Today was my actual 28th birthday. It didn't feel like anything and that was more than ok with me because I think I'm approaching the years that people prefer to stop counting anyway. I gave myself the gift of a clean and laundered house...and that is a much appreciated gift. The floors are swept and mopped, laundry baskets empty, and dirty windows washed. The best part came after.....I took an actual NAP!!!! I honestly cannot remember the last time I took a nap, I imagine it's been at least a year or two, maybe more. I've just never been much of a napper, it would usually take me so long to fall asleep that by the time I would be close, I would need to get up. Let me tell you, sleeping is fun! I slept for about an hour and it really was refreshing.

Matt came home from work a little early tonight and took me out to a casual dinner so I wouldn't have to cook. I chose sushi, I love sushi and Matt is seldom in the mood for it, so I took advantage of it being my choice tonight. We tried a newer place called Yo Yo Sushi and we were pleased with our meals. I feel pretty full right now, but I'm sure I'll have room for some wonderful left over oreo cookie ice cream dessert here shortly....maybe I'll even put a little candle on it if I can find one, this is the first year no one sang to me or had me blow out candles....I really am getting old.

Done working :)

Well, yesterday I worked what was likely my last day ever at Lakeland Regional Medical Center. It surprised me how absolutely routine it felt. I have been there nearly 5 years and when I left, it felt like I'd be right back again in a day or two. I decided months ago to stop working there around 38 weeks, assuming I'd be extremely tired and uncomfortable on my feet for those 12 hour shifts. I'm thankful to say that this pregnancy has been extremely good to me and I still feel great! I'm sure a large part of that is due to the fact that Elyse may be small, but also that I've stayed very active and my weight gain has been minimal. Regardless of the reason, I feel so blessed to be still enjoying every aspect of this pregnancy. I know these precious days our numbered and a whole new amazing world is just around the bend. For just a little while longer though I have her all to myself and the intimacy of that is ours alone...it's pretty incredible.

I'm hoping taking off work doesn't cause these last days or weeks to drag by and fill me with impatience or anxiety over when things will swing into motion. I am going to try to fill my days with some last little chores and errands, but mostly good books, time with God, and simple relaxation. I planned on beginning my first day off sleeping in, but I was up bright and early around 6:00am and was unable to fall back asleep. Who knows...I may even learn to take a nap in all of this.

Sunday bowling

Sunday my family met us at our house for pizza and dessert in celebration of my birthday coming up this Thursday. The meal was extra special because to go along with our pizza my mom made macaroni salad and Oreo cookie dessert, two of my absolute favorites. After lunch we went bowling and it was a blast! It took me a few throws to figure out the best way to maintain my balance with the bowling ball under my shirt and the one needing to go down the alley, but my second game I bowled a 150....the highest score of all 10 of us and possibly a record for me! Elyse must have been giving my ball an extra boost. I seldom bowl, the last time I recall bowling was last November for my dad's birthday, but each time I bowl I remember how much fun it is and how much I like it, especially with such a good group.