Hurry

Throughout the last year a reoccurring lesson that has presented itself on more than one occasion is the need to slow down and not be in such a hurry. There are times I consider myself rushed, but as a whole I don't feel like someone who is always in a hurry but I know I definitely have room to improve and slow down.

Thursday evening I was driving in Tampa rush hour traffic and while at a red light I let a couple of cars over into my lane that needed to turn. We were hardly moving anyway so those two cars were not going to make a difference. I glanced in my rear view mirror and the driver behind me had her hands in the air and was visibly yelling over what I had just done. A few minutes later another (we still hadn't moved in the traffic) car pulled up next to me, rolled his window down and asked if I could leave enough space for him to pull into the shopping plaza. I smiled and told him of course I could. Well you wouldn't believe the words and gestures of the driver behind me when she saw that car pull in front of me. I'm sure she assumed I was letting him in front when in reality I was just letting him pass through. She was livid, started honking her horn and even at the distance I was I could see how visibly tense she was with her hands clenched tightly. At first I wanted to chuckle but ultimately I felt sorry for her. Her anger, words, gestures and honking got no one anywhere any faster and in the same regard nothing I did got us there any more slowly. As we finally made the turn she made a big point to press her gas and speed around me, narrowly missing my bumper. It must feel terrible to be consumed by feelings like that, I know, I've been there. It was never about traffic and it didn't happen very often but there have definitely been times my temper and emotions would get the best of me. I recognized it several years ago and have made a conscious effort ever since. It's just not worth it. Hurry, anger, being too quick to speak, letting emotions run rampant.......they are thieves. They steal joy and my joy is not theirs to take.

I genuinely hurt for her because I know what the inability to control your emotions feels like. Her emotions controlled her, she did not control them and that's a sad place to be. I was so grateful for the calm I felt in that situation. Not a calm about the traffic or my need to get somewhere (I did happen to be running late), but an overall calm knowing the situation with the traffic or the driver was just not worth getting flustered. I don't think I truly recognized how far I had come or how much ownership I finally had over myself until I saw how lost and frantic she looked and I prayed for her. You don't forget feeling like that and I'm thankful to say I can't remember the last time I did.